The Script and Review Takedown: The Proof of Paramount's Embarrassment of the Terrible Reboot Concept

If you're on this website, odds are it's because of the script leak you heard about. Perhaps you read about it online and had to see if this was real. Indeed, it was here. Was. Paramount was very adamant at making sure it was taken down and the fire was put out, despite the fact that once something is on the Internet, it's out there. And once it's out there, you can't stop it, no matter how hard you try.

When I posted the script and my profane review of it, it got attention fairly quickly. In fact, I was overwhelmed by all the attention it got. I could have never guessed it would have gained this much steam; I thought maybe 10-20 would have read it at best. But in under a week, this site had gained 100,000+ visitors, and a handful of larger sites reporting on what was written on this little blog. It's not like the script wasn't being passed around; I would have assumed everyone had already read it. I guess I underestimated the situation, and it wasn't long before truly everyone had read it after visiting this site.

I say this because I received a cease and desist notice to take down the script within a couple of days of its posting. It had received enough attention for Paramount to stand up and take notice.  I complied, and I took down the script and removed it from its web space. After that, they requested that I take the review down. Now that, I initially refused to do (especially since it wasn't even part of the initial request). But once Blogger got involved and told me that they put the post as a "Draft" (allowing me to edit it and take the "infringing parts" out, etc.), I had to submit. When you look at it, people in droves have already read about it, and they will continue to read about it, so what does it matter if my review is taken down? Like I said, it's out there, and there's no stopping it.

Why did I initially refuse, you ask? Well, let's see:

First and foremost, I have my 1st Amendment right to say whatever I want, about whatever I want (look up "fair use"). There's no validity to what I wrote or the script I posted; for all anyone knows, it could have been a script I was writing as an elaborate hoax. In fact, their insistence that I remove the script gave the whole thing validity, and in that regard, they only have themselves to blame. This proves two things: that this was real (God help us), and that Paramount is embarrassed by this tossed-away first draft. And they should be, because if the script proved anything, it's that they've failed to hire actual "professionals". I gather it wouldn't be easy to secure funding for a script that contains the word “eyefuck” more than one time, especially a project meant for children.

Secondly, I started this blog for one reason and one reason only: to oppose the Michael Bay reboot of TMNT. And I will continue to do just that. I'm not gonna claim that he's raping my childhood; that's a ridiculous claim to make, and it insults those who've actually been victims of rape. However, Michael Bay time and time again is given the opportunity to take something people love(d), and make something great out of it, in every respect. Time and time again, he squanders this great opportunity, and decides to pander to the lowest common denominator. And I'm sick of it. As someone who looks at film very seriously (and looks at adaptations and remakes about as seriously), I find it insulting and down-right abusive in regards to his influence in Hollywood. And I, for one, am not going to take it anymore.

Just because a story revolves around an abstract concept doesn't mean you can't make a great film out of it. People will argue, “Well, he's doing what makes money.” No; what makes his money is special effects. In regards to the story, he's doing only what he knows how to do. He's not making a good movie; he's making SFX porn. He's not thinking outside the box; no one said a great TMNT movie (or even a great TF movie that actually revolved around the fucking robots) couldn't be made. It's just assumed that since what he did makes money, it's the only way money could be made (I think The Avengers proved that assumption wrong). And its assumptions like that that'll keep the same shitty movie getting made, and re-branded with the name of a pop icon.

And to those saying, "Bay's not the director of this reboot! It's not his movie!" I only have this to say: he's the producer and the project is being made by his production company. He's the guy that hires the director and the writers. Bay has more influence then you think, and it's apparent in the writing.

As far as I'm concerned, Bay has enough money. This mediocrity has to stop, and it's about time that Viacom got the message that they picked the wrong man (men, if you include the writers) for the job. Let Bay make a third Bad Boys movie or another The Rock. I'd support him more for his original efforts, but I will not support his "rebooting" efforts unless he actually comes out with something "good", "faithful" and "non-formulaic".